Unconditional positive regard – A game-changer for schools?
Headteacher Michael Power explains how showing empathy can open up the possibility of forming transformative connections with your students…
What is unconditional positive regard?
Unconditional positive regard is a concept from psychologist Carl Rogers that can be a game-changer in education. It’s all about accepting and supporting students, no matter what they say or do.
Picture this – you’re in the middle of a busy school day when a student storms into your classroom, visibly upset. She stands in front of the class and declares, “You’re the worst teacher I’ve ever had, and I’m leaving!”
If you’re like I was early in my career, your first instinct might be to react defensively. Maybe even raise your voice and hand out a detention.
“Your first instinct might be to react defensively”
However, unconditional positive regard can help you to turn these moments into opportunities for real connection and growth.
Seeing things differently
Now, I know what you’re thinking – “But in the real world, students can be disruptive, rude, and challenging. How do you apply this idea when dealing with teenagers who think they know everything?”
Trust me, I’ve been there, and it’s where unconditional positive regard truly shines.
When I was new to teaching, I relied heavily on raising my voice and detentions to maintain control. It was all I knew.
But as I became a head of year, I started to see things differently. One student – let’s call her Sarah – really tested my patience.
Late to class, never turned in homework, always pushing my buttons; but instead of just punishing her, I decided to try something new.
How to show unconditional positive regard
After yet another outburst, I pulled Sarah aside. However, instead of giving the usual lecture, this time I simply asked, “What’s going on with you?”.
What followed was an emotional outpouring about problems at home that I had no idea about. Her behaviour wasn’t defiance; it was a cry for help.
That conversation was a turning point. By offering unconditional support, I soon saw a shift in her attitude.
She started coming to class on time and making an effort, even if her homework wasn’t perfect. I began to see her as more than just a ‘problem’ student.
Examples in education
Unconditional positive regard isn’t a magic wand that can make all behavioural issues disappear, but it can change the dynamic between you and your students for the better.
“Unconditional positive regard isn’t a magic wand that can make all behavioural issues disappear”
It’s not about letting them off the hook; consequences are still important. The difference is that those consequences needn’t involve shaming or alienating the student. Instead, they should form part of a process that helps the student learn and grow.
For instance, I once had a student who lost his temper when I asked him to tuck in his shirt. He started shouting and even made a few threats.
The old me would have escalated the situation, but instead, I listened. This is an extreme reaction to something so small, I thought.
Once he calmed down, we talked about how to avoid similar incidents in the future. He corrected his uniform, served his detention and I never saw his shirt untucked again.
Unconditional positive regard and resilience
Unconditional positive regard isn’t just for managing behaviour. It also helps students develop resilience and a growth mindset.
By showing them that they’re valued, despite their struggles, you empower them to take risks and strive for improvement.
It creates a classroom environment where students feel safe – both physically and psychologically – to be themselves, make mistakes and learn from them.
Strong, trusting relationships
Looking back, unconditional positive regard was the key to building strong, trusting relationships with my students. These relationships then became the foundation for more effective teaching and learning.
Students knew they could come to me with problems without fear of judgment, allowing them to focus more on their academic journeys.
Now, as a headteacher of two pupil referral units, I fully embrace unconditional positive regard in my work with students who challenge the status quo.
These students often need our support the most, and I find great satisfaction in helping them make positive changes in their lives.
So, next time a student pushes your buttons, take a moment to listen. You might be surprised at what you discover.
Michael Power is a headteacher and author of The Head of Year’s Handbook (£18.99, Critical Publishing); for more information, visit michaelpower.org.uk
