How Parent Support Groups Can Help Children
Running a group to support parents might be beyond a school’s immediate remit – but it’s the children you’ll ultimately be helping, discovers Katie Masters…
If the Inuits have a hundred words for ‘snow’, teachers must have at least that many for ‘busy’. So why would they add ‘Running a parent support group’ to their already-hectic workload?
“It is a big ask,” says Tracey Tipton, parent support advisor for a group of schools in Sidmouth, Devon. “But maintaining good relationships with parents, supporting them and making them feel comfortable with the school – those things all ultimately benefit the pupils.
‘Parent support groups boost the ability of parents to support their children, which raises achievement. They can help to resolve issues before they escalate too far. And they’re a positive way of helping parents to recognise that the needs of their children are being taken into account. If a school has the resources to run parent support groups, and if they can identify a need for a group, they’re worth running.”
A warning tale
Parent support groups range in what they offer. They can be set up for anything, from dealing with anxiety to supporting children with additional needs. At the simplest level, a school can act as a facilitator – suggesting that a group be set up and taking part in an initial meeting, after which the parents will take on the group as they see fit.
This approach has the benefit of being relatively low-maintenance, though it does still involve some initial organisation in terms of finding a venue, inviting parents, providing tea and coffee and managing the first meeting. In the long term, however, this hands-off style can mean that groups won’t succeed.
“We tried to set up a support group for single parents recently,” says Tracey, “but it didn’t work. We were imagining the group as a supportive network that the parents managed for themselves, but I think we wanted too much, too soon. That taught us that as well as investing time and energy in the practicalities of a first meeting, it’s also important to take the time to help a group gel before you expect the parents to take it on independently.”
What makes a group work?
A group that worked more successfully in Sidmouth (albeit not without some hiccups along the way) was one set up to support parents with adopted children.
“We started this group because we had a sense that some of the parents felt the particular needs of their children weren’t being understood,” says Tracey. “Again, the initial idea was that if we created a forum where these parents could meet each other, they could offer one another mutual support.
‘We started the group with an informal chat over tea and biscuits and then moved it on to a slightly more formal footing – meeting regularly and discussing in advance what we wanted to do. But while that process uncovered the anxieties parents were feeling, it wasn’t in itself enough. I was the only representative from the schools, but the parents wanted to feel that their opinions were being heard by the senior leadership.”
Tracey’s response was to invite members of the senior leadership from all the schools along to a meeting of the group, plus an educational psychologist who specialised in adopted children.
“That meeting taught me how fundamental it is for parents to feel listened to and understood,” Tracey recalls. “Even if schools can only do so much in the way of practical solutions, the sense of understanding means a great deal. I could feel that the group was having a positive affect – and the parents continued to meet of their own accord, going on to produce a leaflet to help staff at the school better understand their children’s needs.”
Bring in experts
Cheryl Mence, deputy head at The Wroxham School in Hertfordshire, says that wherever possible, inviting experts to take part in these groups is very useful.
“It gives parents access to people who really do have knowledge in the area they’re interested in,’ Cheryl explains. ‘We run a support group for parents of children with autism. It’s planned a year in advance, so we can advertise which experts will be at a particular meeting and what information will be available. It could be someone from the Citizen’s Advice Bureau talking about benefits, or an expert talking about sleeping issues.
Having access to those experts has also helped us to set up a resources library with books and products that can help autistic children. That gives parents the opportunity to try out a particular product, such as a sensory blanket, to see whether it works before they buy it.”
You can approach experts such experts directly, or else liaise with your local education / children’s services to see if they can give you some useful contacts. If you don’t have any local funding available, this could be a creative way of using the Pupil Premium.
Tina Frary, pastoral care manager for 10 primary schools in Norfolk, suggests linking up with other groups as a way of accessing additional expertise and funding. “I partnered with Sure Start for one group, which meant we could provide a basic crèche so that parents with younger children could come along,” she says.
She also recommends doing everything you can to show parents how these types of groups can help them. One way is encourage peer recommendation for groups that have been running for a while; another is to invite parents along to groups individually and face to face, rather than relying on emails or flyers. You could even run open sessions, so that people can see what the group offers before joining.
“Parents need to know they’re not going to be judged at these groups and that they will get support,” Tina says. “Take the time to ease them into the experience. Be welcoming. An easy way in for most people is to come to a talk given by an expert. That will provide useful information for the parents and take away the pressure of contributing to a group discussion.”
“Parent support groups are a commitment for a school,” she concludes, “But they’re worth it. Often, unless parenting changes, there’s not much schools can do about behaviour”
Get the parents then, and you might find those other issues start falling into place…
Get your support group up and running
1. Take your time Make sure parents don’t feel they’re being rushed out of the room at the end of the meeting. They should have time to chat and the opportunity to ask private questions if they want to.
Don’t forget to provide Post-It notes for people who find it easier to write down questions than asking them out loud. You can have a box to drop these questions into – but make sure that someone takes responsibility for replying to them.
2. How many’s a crowd? There’s no set size for a support group, but Tina says that she’s found 12 a good number to work with – small enough to form a cohesive group, but large enough to break down into smaller groups of three or four to do discussion or group work.
That lets the parents move around and allows people to get to know one another – which in turn helps the parents feel confident about taking on responsibility for meeting independently at a later stage.
3. Set an agenda If you’re running a parent support group, provide a clear structure so that parents can expect the meetings to give them something useful.
4. Highlight success stories If the group is centred on children with particular needs, it’s important that meetings celebrate the children and make the parents feel positive about the future.
Cheryl Mence suggests that where possible, groups should invite people along who have been through the same experience as the parents, and who have positive stories to tell. Those success stories can be hugely reassuring.
